Criminal execution on Exmouth Road!

Monty Ray Syprus* of 12 Exmouth Road has been executed this week. He was tried and found guilty of criminal damage, attempted murder, and failing to keep within the limits of his territory.

Mr D. Clarke of number 10, said that just before Christmas he was out walking his dog, when the said subject hurled an enormous branch at him.

Above: Monty Ray Syprus at the height of his powers

Fortunately he just missed, but it was attempted murder! On the same day the criminal tried to murder the postman and also to prevent the escape of a friend who called at the address to collect something.

Fortunately all these attempts failed, but it was agreed by the authorities that this should not be allowed to continue. The executioners were called to the address on 17 March to carry out the deed.

Right: The executioners assess Monty's weight

Monty was hung, drawn, quartered and indeed carved up into thousands of pieces to be sure that his activities are no longer able to cause a menace to the community.

Above: The executioners set to work

Below right: Monty's last moments

* AKA Monterey Cypress or cupressus macracarpa. Janet and Chris Parrish write: We have received consent

from EDDC to take down the large tree in the middle of our drive. In a way it is sad because it was such a ‘grand’ old tree but after the collapse of several branches before Christmas, it was left in a poor state and the gash left by the fall would have attracted rot and disease. So it was really past its sell-by date and we felt this was the time it had to go. All the authorities agreed. We have guessed it was 100 years old or so; the EDDC Tree Officer thought a little less. Whatever, it must have been planted, we think, before the house was built in 1925.

Photos and text © Janet and Chris Parrish